Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
