I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
