Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
