living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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