some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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