Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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