I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
