my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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