thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
