that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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