just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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