Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
