Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
