help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
