I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
