McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
