I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
