its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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