Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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