I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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