yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
