Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
