when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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