Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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