Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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