I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
