last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
