If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
