christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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