it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
