he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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