No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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