Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
