I just saw a hot homeless man
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Still dying that you shit outside
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
