It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
