i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
do herpes really smell.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
