Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
