We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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