now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
