Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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