U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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