Dual....:-)
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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