that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
