i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
