READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
