Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
