My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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