Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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