Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
