that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
