look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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