I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
