Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
