Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
