thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
